a bit sad..
My spirits are pretty down today.. Mainly due to dissappointment with my colleagues ba.. I was asking for help today with regards to LC charges, i know where to find it exactly but as i was in a bit of a hurry, i decided to ask a fren (or so i thought) directly as it would save a bit of time. The reply was go check price la! Sad to say, this wasn't the first time, and the reply was the same. Sigh.. So that bugged me for a while, and i wasn't very happy. Office politics? I dunno, and i dun wanna know.
Just last week i faxed a letter to confirm a placement order for my cx. I called the dept, the gal picked up so i asked for confirmation of receipt. She told me "oh, the department is closed already." in a very bitchy tone of voice. I was shocked, then appalled by how people treat their job, or carry themselves - as though they have no dignity. My question - is turning your head to the fax machine and saying "yes, i've received it" too much to ask? That bugged me too.
On my way home, i saw a girl, very young, i guess she's no older than 15, puffing away on a cigratte. She's kinda short and diao me as i walked past her. The sight wrenched my heart a bit and my steps faltered a little. I wondered, what is she trying to prove to me? That she can be rebellious and be proud of it? I dunno, but i was quite sad after i left the area.
I realised that its not doing extra work or doing work that does not belong to me ( in other words, covering for others while they skive) that made me angry or dampens my mood - I'm a workaholic, if i'm gonna die, i'll make sure i work myself to death. But rather i'm strongly affected by the attitudes of people. People who just can't be bothered, who dun give a damm for others or for themselves, people who are just plain irresponsible, who are perpeptual liars, or those who just wanna ruin their life by wasteful habits - I feel for them. A christian would probably tell me that 'hey, maybe that's God's calling for you, giving you a burden for these people'. so on n so forth. Maybe they are right, but i know they are't. I don't have a right to speak into their lives, for i'm just a stranger - not a fren.
Similiarly I found myself attracted to people who are at the other end of the personality chart. Positive people, the 'can do' types, the workaholics, 'study hard! play harder!' used to be the golden rule i lived by - until i flung my 1st yr in poly, the rule was changed to 'study hard! period.' Its been years since i lived by that rule, now i'm taking it out again and applying it in my daily life - not the best of choices - but it keeps my sanity alive.
Jesus showed up today, a very comforting presence during these dark hours. And i recalled the lyrics for the song Hosannah - "break my heart for what breaks yours", and it made a lot of sense to me. It was raining then, i didn't curse, i didn't swear. Just nonchalant. I checked myself into the foodcourt, had dinner and the Lord rested my heart. And as i rest, i did reflected a bit on the things that happened, mull through some of them as mentioned and thanked God for it. How bad can things get, when I've got Jesus on my side.
Just last week i faxed a letter to confirm a placement order for my cx. I called the dept, the gal picked up so i asked for confirmation of receipt. She told me "oh, the department is closed already." in a very bitchy tone of voice. I was shocked, then appalled by how people treat their job, or carry themselves - as though they have no dignity. My question - is turning your head to the fax machine and saying "yes, i've received it" too much to ask? That bugged me too.
On my way home, i saw a girl, very young, i guess she's no older than 15, puffing away on a cigratte. She's kinda short and diao me as i walked past her. The sight wrenched my heart a bit and my steps faltered a little. I wondered, what is she trying to prove to me? That she can be rebellious and be proud of it? I dunno, but i was quite sad after i left the area.
I realised that its not doing extra work or doing work that does not belong to me ( in other words, covering for others while they skive) that made me angry or dampens my mood - I'm a workaholic, if i'm gonna die, i'll make sure i work myself to death. But rather i'm strongly affected by the attitudes of people. People who just can't be bothered, who dun give a damm for others or for themselves, people who are just plain irresponsible, who are perpeptual liars, or those who just wanna ruin their life by wasteful habits - I feel for them. A christian would probably tell me that 'hey, maybe that's God's calling for you, giving you a burden for these people'. so on n so forth. Maybe they are right, but i know they are't. I don't have a right to speak into their lives, for i'm just a stranger - not a fren.
Similiarly I found myself attracted to people who are at the other end of the personality chart. Positive people, the 'can do' types, the workaholics, 'study hard! play harder!' used to be the golden rule i lived by - until i flung my 1st yr in poly, the rule was changed to 'study hard! period.' Its been years since i lived by that rule, now i'm taking it out again and applying it in my daily life - not the best of choices - but it keeps my sanity alive.
Jesus showed up today, a very comforting presence during these dark hours. And i recalled the lyrics for the song Hosannah - "break my heart for what breaks yours", and it made a lot of sense to me. It was raining then, i didn't curse, i didn't swear. Just nonchalant. I checked myself into the foodcourt, had dinner and the Lord rested my heart. And as i rest, i did reflected a bit on the things that happened, mull through some of them as mentioned and thanked God for it. How bad can things get, when I've got Jesus on my side.
posted by timothythiam at
9:01 PM
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