a bit sad..

My spirits are pretty down today.. Mainly due to dissappointment with my colleagues ba.. I was asking for help today with regards to LC charges, i know where to find it exactly but as i was in a bit of a hurry, i decided to ask a fren (or so i thought) directly as it would save a bit of time. The reply was go check price la! Sad to say, this wasn't the first time, and the reply was the same. Sigh.. So that bugged me for a while, and i wasn't very happy. Office politics? I dunno, and i dun wanna know.

Just last week i faxed a letter to confirm a placement order for my cx. I called the dept, the gal picked up so i asked for confirmation of receipt. She told me "oh, the department is closed already." in a very bitchy tone of voice. I was shocked, then appalled by how people treat their job, or carry themselves - as though they have no dignity. My question - is turning your head to the fax machine and saying "yes, i've received it" too much to ask? That bugged me too.

On my way home, i saw a girl, very young, i guess she's no older than 15, puffing away on a cigratte. She's kinda short and diao me as i walked past her. The sight wrenched my heart a bit and my steps faltered a little. I wondered, what is she trying to prove to me? That she can be rebellious and be proud of it? I dunno, but i was quite sad after i left the area.

I realised that its not doing extra work or doing work that does not belong to me ( in other words, covering for others while they skive) that made me angry or dampens my mood - I'm a workaholic, if i'm gonna die, i'll make sure i work myself to death. But rather i'm strongly affected by the attitudes of people. People who just can't be bothered, who dun give a damm for others or for themselves, people who are just plain irresponsible, who are perpeptual liars, or those who just wanna ruin their life by wasteful habits - I feel for them. A christian would probably tell me that 'hey, maybe that's God's calling for you, giving you a burden for these people'. so on n so forth. Maybe they are right, but i know they are't. I don't have a right to speak into their lives, for i'm just a stranger - not a fren.

Similiarly I found myself attracted to people who are at the other end of the personality chart. Positive people, the 'can do' types, the workaholics, 'study hard! play harder!' used to be the golden rule i lived by - until i flung my 1st yr in poly, the rule was changed to 'study hard! period.' Its been years since i lived by that rule, now i'm taking it out again and applying it in my daily life - not the best of choices - but it keeps my sanity alive.

Jesus showed up today, a very comforting presence during these dark hours. And i recalled the lyrics for the song Hosannah - "break my heart for what breaks yours", and it made a lot of sense to me. It was raining then, i didn't curse, i didn't swear. Just nonchalant. I checked myself into the foodcourt, had dinner and the Lord rested my heart. And as i rest, i did reflected a bit on the things that happened, mull through some of them as mentioned and thanked God for it. How bad can things get, when I've got Jesus on my side.

Fixing my IU...

Amazing as it sounds, my ERP IU actually broke down almost 2 weeks ago, it simply shows a "On" on the LCD, flickers a lot and doesn't read my cash card when i insert it. To cut it short, i passed through the gantry next to Pearl Centre with my cash card, and just yest i got a registered mail from the govt. haha.. So kua zhang! It said something like your IU / cashcard is faulty, pls go for inspection by 31 Aug. Zzz.. So i went Ayer Raja, the guy checked, told me my IU was still under warrenty so they did a 1 for 1 exchange for me, otherwise have to pay $155 for a new one.. Exorbitant i know, what to do?

Having done with the silly thing, i went to school, finished up my stats assignment, downloaded tutorial 7 answers, marked tutorials 3-6, realising tat i've made quite a number of mistakes (like for probability qns - roll 2 dice, a 6 turns up each time right... knn... i tot u roll 2 dice together, then see how many times you produce a 6 on each throw. zzz...), mostly arising from a misinterpretation of the question. zzz.. which i think is pretty unfair if students answer wrongly because the examiner didn't convey a clear message to the student. Then we are the ones who suffer in the end.

UOB soared again, from $19.90 to over $21. I didn't expect the response to the NDP rally to be so strong - enough to push STI up by 6%... so as usual, what goes up, muz come down - in tandem with the US market issue.

IGMarkets has been set up, so trading should begin by thurs latest, by then silver should have risen enough for me to unload... haven't checked the charts tho... hee..

Went to celebrate Mengfei's bday today, its v v belated, but still, better late than never. We had dinner at cafe cartel, had nachos, ribs, bread with olive oil + vinegar... hee.. damm filling sia! Heard tt his office's gonna move to bukit batok Vicom tt side.. hmm... a bit ma fan and out of the way for him, but if really that's the case, i can always meet him and fetch him home. :)

My sis bought the Saviour King album, and i found the chords for the entire album (email me if u need timothythiam@hotmail.com) and its really nice! I absolutely adore Hosanna n Saviour King.. Hmm... probably will be spending some time working on these 2 songs. Praise the Lord!

Saturday... Tired sia...

Today's pretty interesting for me, its like serving people from all over the world - new zealand, china, india, malaysia, United Kingdoms (new york n england). Siao one... Though the crowd is ridiculous, i find it slightly refreshing to be able to serve an international cohort.. LoL..

When i just came back from lunch, i overheard an uncle saying he wanted to close all his accounts with the bank, then said 'tank you ah, tank you!' very loudly and stomped out of the branch. Idiot. I find it amusing really, he's the only one mad and he didn't resolve anything or gained any compensation through his anger. Why bother risking a heart attack by raising your blood pressure to danger levels? So old le, later explode how? Haix...

I realised that i've been drinking from the old water heater all the way while my colleagues were all drinking from the new heater we bought a month ago.. And i made an amazing discovery - there's quite a bit of styrofoam / dandruff / white particle thingy floating in the water, and i've been drinking it all along.. No wonder will fall sick.. zzz... That was really gross... Plus the lid is getting a bit rusty.. So in the end Doris decided to dump the heater.

I kinda revised through stats tutorials 4-6 today during lunch, I've got most of it right, but still, could use a bit more practise to get the hang of things. Most probably will work on it @ esplanade library or goto SIM to study tomolo. I've not mastered it yet.

I bought 500 oz of silver today, Stoc is at 34, RSI bottom, bollinger bands also bottom, so should have enough pressure to push the damm chart up. Plus MM's positive speech might help a bit. Anyway its less than 10k so i'm ok.

Spoke with IGMarkets, my account should be ready by mon / tues afternoon, so i'll take my first tentative steps into the world of CFD then.. Pretty curious and a bit skeptical, so most probably i'll be trading pretty cautiously then.

My broker told me that thai ETF cannot be purchased as the profits gained from the ETF cannot be taken out of the country, otherwise i would have made myself a tidy profit if yest's trade went through. sianz. It pretty hard to find charts with RSI + Stoc at the bottom for a few days straight.

Dinner was done at IKEA, together with mom n sis. We had salmon, a plate of chicken wings, 10 meatballs, 2 more pieces of chicken coupled with rice, potatoes n veggies. The salmon that i remembered has shrunk by 50% - since 2 yrs ago or so.. inflation can really do wonders to businesses... zzz.. the meatballs are still fantastic, and the chicken wings are um... crispy la. Wings are easy to prep - just deep fry them can le.

k, time to shower, rest, TV and sleep!

not feeling well...

Hmm... Been sick the past few days... actually i was kinda sick since saturday evening cos i've been overworking myself a bit too much... haix.. my memory has been very fuzzy and i dun really recall much of the past few days events, basically i'm just semi comatose throughout this week..

I can't really remember what actually happen on saturday, i tink i went to marina square john little to get a gift for meng fei, but i really can't recall the day i did the shopping - either sat or sun ba... sheese.. anyway, doesn't matter. I did recall waking up very early on sunday, and didn't really sleep much on saturday night, so sunday was a bit bad for me. I do recall having sinus the whole day throughout the CFD seminar and then i was sneezing all the way.

Sunday night was pretty hyper and i didn't really sleep well that night - sneezing and all so it was really pretty bad, but still ok..

And so Monday came. I was tired, the ache can be felt throughout my shoulders and neck as i didn't sleep well. Went to work as per normal and i'm really beginning to feel the effects of the accumulated fatigue near the end of day. I decided to finish up ASAP so that i can have time to rest so i closed day at 4.05pm, quite an achievement. Rushed down to Merchant Court hotel to pass Cynthia my IC n singtel bill for the registration with IGmarkets, then rushed all the way back to SIM for Maths lecture - I slept during lecture.

Lectures ended early on monday because Mr Seow wanted to conduct a test, by then my eyelids weighed a ton and i'm really struggling to stay awake.. I fired away at the paper and finished it in 40mins, then left the hall, from there i made the trip back to Merchant Court hotel to complete my 2nd half of the CFD seminar. How i made it there alive, i really dunno, all i know was that i was kinda riding subconsiously... zz..

The seminar ended at 12.15am, by then my soul has already departed, leaving my body behind. I took the quickest route home, mustered whatever energy i had left to shower and sleep. That was when the problems came..

I wasn't able to fall asleep, and had to wake up many times to the restroom to pee, other times just woke up because of stiff neck or shoulders. At this point i realised that i've burned out myself. My throat was sore and i was extremely irritable and uncomfortable.

Tuesday. I recall popping a lot of vit c, b, e, a, calcium, omega 3 into my system before going to work. it wasn't very useful but i know i needed this extra dose of anti-oxidants, at least to keep me alive before anything major is damaged. Come lunch i know i'm having a fever and i needed to keep in under control. So i went to NTUC, bought me some panadols and had porridge for lunch. It sucked. I hate porridge but no choice. After lunch, my eye started to swell.. quite a few colleagues pointed it out to me, and i reckon they're telling the truth cos i felt the swelling myself.. haix...

After work, i was crazy enough to go SIM to revise... At this point you might be wondering i was being suicidal, NO ok, i'm not. I wanted to finish up my tutorials so that i can rest on wed. I think i fainted after doing 2 questions and was woken up by the security officer - "no sleeping" he told me... In my heart i wanted to object by i didn't have the energy to do so, cos i guess i've reached my limit and i'm totally exhausted. Went home, reached home at 9pm, showered and crashed onto my bed.

Wed morn - my throat was a gonner, my voice was hoarse and there's phelgm in my throat, spitting it out shows that its green. Dun really felt an MC is necessary so i went to work. Siao hor? I know. I've been through worse and continued working before... I guess i'm a workaholic... whatever. No gf, dun wan parent's pity, dun take MC lor. Dun need wad. I basically drowned myself with hot water for the whole day and fed myself a bit more panadols, and i guess i recovered a little near the end of day.

I came to the conclusion tt my body can't take the level of stress that i'm currently subjecting it to, so most probably i've to change my diet and start exercising a bit more to build me up. Next term will be even more hectic as i work on 3 subjects, trade CFDs on IG and prepare for exams. If halfway through i happen to break down and pass away, you know wat happen la, overworked, under rest. sianz...

ain't sleepin much....

Ever since last week i've been missing out a lot a lot on my sleep... lets see... last mon lesson, tues CFD workshop, wed classes, thurs bible study by pastor youngman, fri lessons, sat wanted to go FOP but dropped the idea, sun church, mon lesson, tues rest a bit, wed lesson again, thurs was national day - spent studying at ngee ann poly - no one was there except me, so i kinda had the whole school to myself... fri was off but went to but secret receipe for the branch and helped grace collect her zoo pass... oh ya, lesson as well... tomorrow's sat, meeting Janice for maths after work, then sunday is the CFD workshop again... mon lesson, then 10pm got maths test, then after that got CFD live trading demo... zzz.... i didn't even realised how much i'm taxing myself until i looked back... and i haven't even got meng fei his bday present... die...

well, hectic schedule aside, i checked my email today, got a reply from the director of the al dente chain of restaurants... will be checking with clara they all on how are we gonna proceed with the letter - to go back and accept the apology or just forget about the whole incident... sigh... the sad part is that i think i got the manager into trouble.. sianz man... i'm still brooding over it. >.<

sat will be the only time i have this week for tutorials, dunno got time to complete everything a not - given my ridiculous schedule.. zzz... see how la, take things one step at a time, at most sacrifice lunch lor...

amazingly i can still catch up tho.. haha... tired like shit but still functional... zz.. zombie lifestyle, still can laugh somemore.. haix.. nvm, can tahan de, 3-5yrs very fast one, then aft that if got gf can finally settle down le... the tricky part is finding the right one, then juggle work n romance and investment, study and continue to focus on getting top honors... PHEW! Quite a ton of things to do.. Come next week, i'll need to start photocopying exam papers and start figuring them out... zzz..

So Lord, these are all my burdens, i've yet to mention my classmates and people whom i'm supposed to mentor during this little time i spend in SIM, I lay them all before You, and rest in Your abundant grace alone. Its been a while since i prayed for Nerrissa and her bf, hope the cancer has been removed successfully, I pray too for Jac's spine to go back to normal, all glory to You Jesus, I pray for myself, thanking You once again for the power to get wealth, for sustaining me throughout this ordeal and keeping me sane throughout these relatively trying times. With regards to finding a gf Lord, I've nothing to hide from You - i've someone in mind, and i pray that You'll help us find our way, and help me Father, to grow this friendship first, and guide me in this relationship. May i be a blessing to her and be there for her, Lord guide this precious one, and may You always protect her, and one day, bring her into your kingdom as well. Thank You.

I pray for me n my 2 frens at sch, bless them with good grades and wisdom to complete this course. Thank You Jesus, for the things that You're gonna do, and are currently doing in all our lives.

All these we pray, in Jesus' name. Amen

spaghetti day!!!

Hee, today was really super high, went to cook spahegetti for my family and branch colleagues... haha.. Damm tired, woke up at 7.30am, cook from 8-9am. zzz... tired wor! last few days slept at 3am, 2am that sort of timing... zzz.... shack. i actually doze off at suntec arcade centre today... stunned.. i really need a break.

A forum entry

I'm in a horrifying mood today. Don't ask me too many questions or i'll burn your f***ing house.

1st August

ST Forum: 6319-8289 (Fax)

Singaporean customers are getting bolder and bolder these days, some even to the point where they have no shame. Apparently our society has been moving so fast that even aunties and uncles no longer have the patience to wait or even queue up, expecting to be served or serviced immediately, as though they are God or some divine being that is dying to be worshipped.

I’ve seen disgusting Singaporeans who jumped the queue, and yet behaving as though they have every right to do so. Queues by definition refers to a lot of things – registering for primary one, buying toto, taking taxi, boarding the MRT and buses, the fat auntie swaggering away in the wet market.

There are also those particularly notorious ones who were born evil and perpetually get up everyday on the wrong side of the bed. The obnoxious tai tai who dresses rich but is broke who wants to withdraw $500 from the bank, the young punk who thought that he’s a notch above all else because he scored a few distinctions in the O’s A levels. The weirdo whose head is always stuck in the clouds, whose head is held so high that he will snap his head if he tilts it any higher.

Its not an easy crowd to please – how to practise GATS when the customer who sits in front of you behaves like Queen Elizabeth the 100th? Or when he punctuates every sentence with vulgarities? To quote a friend, “we’re ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen.” Unfortunately the lady or gentleman appears once in a lifetime, honest. When was the last time that punk said thank you to you? I dare say ‘Never”.

I praise the service standards of some of the outlets in Singapore – truly amazing considering the amount of cavemen they serve per day. Fish and Co, Giordano, SIA are some of the places that has never let me down.

So as the cavemen and barbarians enter a faster moving 21st century, pulling jackpots levers and their heads floating amidst the clouds, I really wish that those of us reading this can take a bit of time and domesticate the urban barbaric in-laws, crazy little rascals and senile loud speaking uncles before we all grow up from Bart Simpson to Homer, from Singapore to Springfield.

Timothy Thiam